The Unseen

O' the Unseen but always present!
Who can I ask for you? Where can I search for you?

To know you, I passed through all the world!
I asked you from all the people, all the world.
Now I am back without answer,
Asking you about you!

O, Unseen who is always present, Who can I ask you about?

River of Life

They asked me to draw river of my life!
I started thinking: what features it does.
I draw a face, deeply in thought,
Then ahead of that, ways of changing.
I tried to change whatever I could,
Till I reached the peak, it was a waterfall.

Yes, that is true, I was independent!
I waited long to gain it my own.

Since then life was wide lands of dawn,
blessed with sunshine of nice people in my life.

I walked all that way with so many up and downs,
Till I turned to a lotus,
laying on the water with peace and solace.

I still can feel the beauty of that time,
When I was so light, like a butterfly.

What happened to me that I lost my wings?
What made me so heavy, not able to move around?

I am feeling lost, trapped in the mud,
No more beauty, no wings to fly!
Yet no challenge, no attempt to move,
Am I dead yet? Or just ready to die?

My soul is dead, lost all the transcend,
all those moments of spiritual joy...

Strange!

Something feels strange! It is not very new, but it is the most clear in recent times! I am not sure what is going on! Something is not quite right with me! I ask myself: "Is it a midlife crisis?" Not sure, I am not that old yet, at least I am not feeling old at all!

Lately I have been thinking of my past life, of all those nice Ramadan I recall since a kid. I am lost, totally lost! What is that I am so different from those times? Is it being away from my culture and society? Maybe it is an identity crisis! Who am I? I feel strange, being me in this life, in this society! It came to me at last what people were asking me in past 4 years! And I am feeling so lost!